What's been better?

That is the question I start every session with. I believe everyone has the resources they need to handle the problems in their life. However, sometimes we each need help. With a little bit of help we walk a path, sometimes longer than others, to making our lives better. Usually a little at a time.

The path that brought us to where we are today has a strong influence on who we are and how we relate to the world. While we can't change the past we can look at ourselves now and learn to change how we see ourselves and how we relate to the world.

Along the path we've walked are the facts of our own resiliency. Everyone has faced challenges, and in them we can find what has helped, what capabilities we've had, the gifts we used and can use again.

Unfortunately, we all carry the pain and loss from past experience and this contributes to fear. We can fear losing more. We can fear not being good enough. We fear becoming more hurt. Getting past fear is part of learning who you are now and what you can do. I sometimes ask people, can you tell me about a time you were worried about something that ultimately did happen and you didn't make it through? We all make it through the tough parts of life. Those times are painful and we wish to avoid more of them, though they also tell us of our own resiliency too.

Everyone is trying to be good. That's another assumption I have in doing the work I do. I truly believe everyone is trying their best to be good. When pain, suffering, rejection, loss, and disappointment get in the way too much, our drive to do well and be good still comes through - we're tenacious like that, however that also brings forward strong self-protections like anxiety, anger, judgement, doubt and other traits that can contribute to struggle.

In our lives our self-protections - our fears, angers, negative reactions to others - become well-ingrained habits. Sometimes those habits and struggles require some outside help in changing. Otherwise we might continue do repeat ourselves and if you always do what you always did, then you always get what you always got.

I enjoy helping others rediscover the strengths they have, and more easily return to their basic desires to connect more fully with others and to be their fullest selves in life.